<3

that day, over the phone, when we were feeling all high and gungho because of the whole we have power they know not thingy.

now's the time for us it prove it, hey?

posted by xin! @ 11:42 AM 0 Comments

i think i'm really going crazy with my studies, esp when people keep asking me about it or rubbing in the hc factor. i know my cg ppl mean well but cg and church are my sources of breaks and i really really really dont wanna talk about ANYTHING studies-related. esp after cg and church ends, i'm totally stoned (cos friday has the worst timetable in the whole week and i wake up at 4 to study on sundays so i can enjoy at expo) and people buzzing in my ear about studies will just make me feel very miserable. i havn't cried over my studies in a long long time and i dont wanna start now...today i told xinying that i only got into hc by mugging 24/7 and not cos i'm smart, yet with canoeing, there was no way to continue the mugging. yet i'm very very sure that God meant for everything to happen this way. cos if i hadnt joined canoe, i wouldnt have been so close to twin and she wouldnt have coached me so well in Christ. furthermore, i wouldnt have met cal and i wouldnt be in chc now. canoeing gave me a sense of confidence like never before, and i think there's stuff I've done for Him which wouldn't have been possible without the self-security. furthermore, i was asking God if this logic of mine holds water, and i think His healing of my canoe-injury-inflicted-hand is the perfect answer that this is His plan and He ain't gonna shortchange me. yep...i still need alot of prayer though.

anw on a happier note, i think all the opening prayers and ministering to others this week has helped alot cos today i could give the bs closing prayer quite smoothly (: i was telling jinyi i dont understand why i can speak prayers aloud for others for real long but when it's leaders asking me to do it, i get very scared and start stuttering. so yea, this week i practised damn hard and i think it worked! whoo~ and service was awesome too cos i got alot of answers for the questions that people struck me dumb with. i cant wait to share with everyone (:

posted by xin! @ 5:53 PM 0 Comments

wanli's last paper ends today! ): im so !@#$%^& jealous. raptor is also pissed off at me cos i've been neglecting him. sian. we dont have our nightly cuddle sessions anymore, though he gets to sit in my lap sometimes during QT. he's getting smarter though... other than jumping onto the stand, he's also learnt how to sit down on my hand to sayang when i pick him up (:

anyway my mum has been shockingly nice to me ever since that cg session 2 wks ago when i decided to change my attitude. so i think maybe i'll tell her abt my chc activities soon, but not till after As cos i'm not risking losing my spiritual support at such a crucial time.

posted by xin! @ 2:58 PM 0 Comments

this week has been incredibly exhausting and despite my foolish bravado in telling sally i wont burn out i have no choice but to skip tmr and fri. but im really at a loss of words as to how the opportunities for us to share have come pouring in. i rmb asking shar, 'why did cal pray that people would see we are different?' and she replied, 'if we aren't extraordinary, why would they seek the same grace we've been shown?' and honestly...that's what's been happening the whole week. every day, in and out of lectures, suddenly we're meeting people who are straining to draw closer to God. we see our classmates who've been rather distant suddenly expressing their thirst for Him on their blogs, people are telling us their problems and asking to be prayed for, waking up early to come for mass QT...WOW. this is so :D :D :D!!!

cool testimony fr sharon. this indian guy popped outta nowhere at her church's fitness corner last week n asked to be taught more about Christ! they agreed to meet on wed but sharon's mom objected cos of studies and so we were praying very hard for a breakthrough. just as we decided i would go down if there was no other alternative, the indian guy called and said that since she isnt free on wed, he'd go down for church on sunday instead!! :D :D :D hahaha how awesome is that! it totally fits what the Bible says about how we shouldn't cry over loss of a small opportunity cos God will open even greater doors than those that have been closed! WHEEE~ happy!

okay anw we im either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave cos i just told twin that i hope we can grow to ten people by next fri (: honestly i don't think its impossible. and the part abt being living testimonies, i admit i screwed up big time cos i told Em God helps me so i can study till 2 and wake up at 4. and she replied with a straight face she thinks its actually cos i sleep in class >.< HAIYO XINHUI AH...i feel ashamed of myself ): twinnie! we jiayou tgt (: qt tmr and on fri's all up to you now, i silent support n pray fr home k! <3

posted by xin! @ 6:59 PM 0 Comments

today was really quite bad but hey lemme focus on the good parts to cheer up yeah.

1. laying hands on quinn with shar (he thanked us which really really touched me (: )
2. stealing kiral's kimchi noodles
3. studying with sheila. sneakers and simba rock!
4. retarded bus journey which nevertheless made me laugh, haha.
5. my gp essay (:

yepp. and btw, i didnt break anything today (:

posted by xin! @ 10:55 PM 0 Comments

QT today was a raging success! :D God was really kind to us in helping us to find an empty classroom, sheltering us from disturbances and helping us end on time (: wanli says we must put time and effort into keeping this up, and i'm determined to see this through! I got to do cool stuff again today....stepping out in faith really makes all the difference (: i wanna invite more people to join us!

today sharon and i were standing outside the reading room and thanking God for all our church friends. we kept repeating 'omg, we're so incredibly blessed' and when we returned to the room, we realised the door wasn't closed and everyone must have heard what we were saying yet nobody came out to ask us to keep quiet and not disturb their mugging! haha cool right? anw i hope people were impacted by our thanksgivings and maybe it'll motivate them to go for church and cell group more (:

oh and lastly...i realised that some of my friends seem to be going through a lot right now cos their aura now is kinda different from before. i dunno how to describe it, but it's like this wave of depressing emotions flooding off them and it makes me very sad ): but i'm very sure that if we managed to help one person today, there's no reason why we can't help the rest. pray more people! (:

posted by xin! @ 8:14 PM 0 Comments

melissa's been texting the hc christians to pray more for prelims and make a hwachong shoutout to heaven. so i decided to ask zhengshan and sharon to do QT tgt every morning fr now till we leave hc. basically cos i realised that until now, i still cannot pray properly with christians on the same or higher spiritual level than me because i will lose my confidence and chicken out halfway. so um i'm gonna try opening prayer every morning so i wont have to resort to memorising prayer like i did during bs -.- and i realise there is not much point telling twin what i learnt fr cg/ service cos it's like she'll say 'i know alr' to everything...so hopefully we can just share testimonies and maybe i can continue teaching zs stuff like last friday. ya. im quite excited (:

posted by xin! @ 8:53 PM 0 Comments

this morning calista asked me why i kept giggling during bible study and i don't really know how to answer. it's just that i get high very easily and especially when i sense God's presence, alot of happy stuff will flash through my mind and i just feel like i'm bursting with joy...i remembered that during cell group, there're also times when lisa will suddenly look at me and ask why i'm smiling cos i just couldnt stop the happiness from showing when God shows me his Word. it's also why i don't like praying with people cos i will say very silly and kiddy stuff to God and i will randomly get high when his presence strikes me.this morning i just felt very blessed that cal was sharing her knowledge with me and during service, God was also literally flooding me with warm fuzzy thoughts...i just kept laughing all the way throughout!

christine also told me that God is her lover and friend, and i feel that God is basically my daddy, my big brother, my guardian and my best friend rolled into one. ever since i joined chc, God is someone who is on my mind 101% and i can't stop thinking about Him. He shows me the simple pleasures of playing in the rain, of going home at midnight after cg and singing to him as i walk through the dark streets, of just waking up and realising that it's another wonderful day the Lord has made. even when He tests me with problems, i feel very priviledged that He has entrusted me with a task and instead of feeling worried, i get excited cos i see it as a test and i wanna see how high i can score! :D i still remember the week after i received tongues, i was so exhilarated i kept practising under my breath everywhere i went, at home, in school, on the streets, and people around me suddenly started smiling and laughing. it's like a talisman for me against all hurts, and cheryl also told me that praying in tongues washes all her worries away.

plus, God is super gentle with me! there was one week when i kept getting scolded by Him and one day i broke down cos i was so sick of being reprimanded. the next day, He sent me a verse: Hebrews 12:5-7:

5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." 7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? "

so yep, i decided to work harder on my task and His chiding stopped! yay! i rmb sally telling me recently about this wonderful birthday present she received from God and i wrote in my QT diary that i wanted one too. then i realised, God's already given me my birthday wish from last year! (: it's a very simple one: i just asked God to take control of my life and make me happy. yes, it's wonderful to ask for world peace, cure for HIV, no more hunger and the like. and many people have so many things they'd like from God, they cant decide what to ask for first. but i felt that rather than asking for so much, i should just ask to be contented because the richest man is not he who has the most but he who needs the least. if world peace and a whole bunch of other noble stuff makes me happy, and God grants my very simple wish to be joyful always, havn't i received it all? (: even when i get down or depressed in school, God always sends someone along to gimme a hug or send me an sms when i need it most. even better, He tells me about people around me who need His love even more than i do, and when i attend to them, good stuff always happens that washes my hurt away.

before i could speak in tongues, mark was telling me i had to have a very fervent desire for it but somehow i couldn't get myself to press for it. cos although i wanted it very badly and i badgered everyone i knew to tell me more, this voice in my mind kept going, why should i worry so much? why should i plead and annoy God about it everyday to give it to me asap? i already know that He will grant it to me as He sees fit, so what i did was just practise at home and pray for it everyday. then one day Mark told me, 'you're gonna get it at prayer meeting later!' and true enough, i did!

haha so...yeah. dont worry, be happy (: just...ask for stuff with an open heart and mind. Dad never lets us down.

posted by xin! @ 3:56 PM 0 Comments

just had a cool spiritual convo w sal, hahaha God's forever asking her to tell me stuff. it used to be that i'd no idea what she was talking about (huh?! are u sure God told you that? i didnt sense anything leh) but now i'm getting more revelations so sal is like a backup confirmation of what He's told me :D and afterwards was discussing studies with ken too, we havn't chatted in ages! haha i havnt done any work today but i dont regret it cos i badly needed the break.

sal says:
hahaha i jus sensed sth

sal says:
and i think God wants me to tell u

xinhui says:
?

sal says:
hmmm, God is very eager to bring salvation to your family

sal says:
starting from u

xinhui says:
hahahahah i thought so too! i preached gospel to my mum in chinese man..can faint sia..

sal says:
he jus want u to say, I'm willing..

sal says:
he only ask of u to open doors for him to enter ur household

sal says:
behold and u may see the greatest miracle tt u're abt to see in your family

xinhui says:
hahahaha okay

xinhui says:
i try la

sal says:
u don't have to do anything much, just let the Holy Spirit guide u

sal says:
u don't have to do anything much, just let the Holy Spirit guide u

sal says:
be sensitive to His whisper and He will tell you what and when to do

xinhui says:
yes mam (:

sal says:
yap, so pray more...i am very excited to see the miracle happening in your fanily

hahaha on a totally unrelated basis,i realised God has super high expectations of us, cos everytime i think that God is asking me to help a person, i will pray for a way to aid the other party and WHAM, suddenly things can get way more intense than what i expected. but i'm really really happy sally and sharon are always there to guide me through! (:

posted by xin! @ 7:57 PM 0 Comments

yesterday i went home with christine (lisa's friend) and she explained to me why i only felt a light breeze when i fell while others were literally blown away, and why i didn't feel the 'pressure' and could have gotten up (but ya xinhui the pig decided to sleep through the whole meeting instead). haha and after she was done i just felt so enlightened and amazed! once again i feel that my life right now is really blessed (: when pastor healed the ones that went up, i didnt go but i suddenly realised that i wasn't coughing hard anymore. and after i got slain, i woke up this morning and realised that my fingers don't hurt anymore! woah! i didn't even ask for healing for my hand and yet i got it, how cool is that! God's so generous, i love it when He gives me gifts i never expected :D plus when my mom called halfway, she ended our convo really quickly so i could get back to praise and worship, and although she woke up when i reached home at four, she didnt complain at all and just asked me to go bathe (: awesome!

OPM aside, fellowship was utterly enjoyable too but i was quite stoned so i didnt always register what the others were saying. just have this faint recollection of drinking milo with jeff jacintha winnie xinying kwok leong. oh and the best part was, i was so stoned that i almost walked into the path of a car outside the church except that mark and jinyi caught me in time. sian. this is like the ten thousandth time that people saved me from oncoming traffic alr...i really need to open my eyes when i cross the road -.-

okay okay mug mug.

posted by xin! @ 12:12 PM 0 Comments

just a quick post before i start. i read my friend's post about how sometimes God speaks to us but we're so distracted that we cant hear it. so i wondered if i'd missed any miracle that God showed me and i realised i got one yesterday! cos for my first 2 services, i really froze cos my cardi wasnt warm enough. thus yesterday i was really very doubtful if i should pass my jacket to fujie in case i froze as a result. in the end i thought, heck, God will not shortchange me so i gave it to him. and now i realised i didnt shiver at all throughout the whole service! yay! (: happy happy!

one more thing. fujie asked me for my L1R4 and without thinking i uttered 'huh, how would i know, i dont even calculate L1R4.' what i meant was that when i was in st nicks, L1R4 wasn't impt so i have no idea how to calculate it (i got so confused i told him my L1R5 is 7 and my L1r4 is 8, which is impossible) but in retrospect i realised that people who didnt understand what i meant would probably have thought i sounded very arrogant, as though my L1R5 was so good that i had no need to worry about L1R4. well yesterday i told calista that my biggest fear of receiving lousy As results was not my future but rather, having to suffer a big blow to my pride. despite our constant reminders that it is a myth that hwach students are all smart,i honestly cannot imagine how shameful it would be to admit to my friends that i got lousier results than my friends from nj,pj and such. thus, i've decided that the only way to force myself to study right now is to type out my supposedly good Os results right here. it would be an incentive for me to mug cos then i'd really have no place to hide my face if i get bad results for As. i'm really taking a giant step of faith by doing this so please don't judge me and say i'm too proud or anything. i wouldn't be doing it if i had any other choice.

ENGLISH LANGUAGE A1
LITERATURE IN ENGLISH A1
COMBINED HUMANITIES A2
MATHEMATICS A1
ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS A2
CHEMISTRY A2
BIOLOGY A1
HIGHER CHINESE B3
CHINESE A1
CHINESE (ORAL/AURAL) DIST

yep. i'm going to go pray, study and hope for the best. (and hopefully milk my beginner's luck for all it's worth =P)

the final and most difficult thing: suddenly it seems like all those 'difficult' classmates are searching for God. or so i presume from their blogs. well twin guess...we have an average of 4 months to work a miracle with people we've known for almost 2 years and hardly ever talked to (:

posted by xin! @ 11:06 AM 0 Comments

haha, i think calista had a whole lot of fun niaoing me today. but it's okay! it was seriously amusing (esp the part where i bashed my head on the wall) and now i feel so much more determined to study. i love chionging with my friends to see who gets better results!
whoohoo (=

posted by xin! @ 6:41 PM 0 Comments

okay i feel quite bad cos my mum suddenly shot at me, 'dyou go church on sundays' and it would have been a perfect opportunity to tell her (cos she was in a great mood) but i got so shocked i yelped, 'no!' before i could think. i think it was super duper obvious i was lying la (though i really really didnt mean to)...but nvm she didn't press.and just to let you guys know, raptor's leg is totally better (he even hijacked my team bag just now and it's quite big to jump on for a pigeon who cant fly) so thanks for praying for him people! (=

anw yesterday's cg msg was awesome! could really feel the presence of the Spirit. (shuling just texted me: '...my cg members say to use tongues well (=) i was super high last night! and i'm super excited for tmr cos mark is passing me 2 CDs and i'm trading mine with wanli! woohoo! plus bible study with lisa and after that it's study session with calista! speaking in tongues is really really awesome cos you can totally feel the presence of God. i was practising in the empty classroom (only twin and zs were around) and i think sharon heard me cos she looked up and kinda grinned before studying again. and and and (this part i'm not sure) i think i heard her sing in the Spirit as well towards the end (and sharon was an awesome voice i think the only one who can rival her is gao!) mark was saying he cant wait to go back to school so he can do such stuff too and that we're really blessed that the people around us are so open (= oh and one last thing, i wanted to say God is totally awesome cos everytime i read the Word in the week, it'll be related to what's taught in cg and service so i dont become some lost dummy without a hint of what lisa and the pastors are talking about. for this week, i was reading about david and esther and lisa mentioned those chapters yesterday! hahaha and another bonus of reading beforehand is that i'll know where the books are so i don't need to flip desperately searching for the page.

p.s. my cough is still very awful >.< and to think after mark prayed for me on fri i told him super confidently, 'okay! its gone!' HAHAHAHA. nvm tmr i wont talk to him for the whole day so he wont hear me cough (:

posted by xin! @ 2:38 PM 0 Comments

im so bored now ): yesterday i was writing away very happily in gp cos i finally saw a topic i like ('Pet Owners should be ashamed of themselves. Discuss) and this annoying class was making a whole lot of noise outside. so mrs lee opened the door and asked them in a really sweet and sacarstic voice, 'would you like to tell me yr class?...so that the next time you're having a test or exam, i'll know where to send my students over to.' HAHAHA!! i think my whole class simply died laughing (: we need more of such teachers around!

oh and i'm very excited cos sharon is getting water baptised!! :D :D :D but it's on a sunday and i really, really, really don't want to have to miss service on that day....argh. even if i cab down i don't think i'll be able to make it ): sian. see how things go i guess...

oh and thirdly...i told mr quek i'm sick again and he simply rolled his eyes and muttered sth like'why am i not surprised.' haha! but seriously, its my own fault for not taking care. actually i'm quite happy to be sick cos i think its a blessing in disguise. but i'm not posting it here cos there are some people around who will slam me for writing it. i'm actually quite pissed when people bug me for an invite and i dont have the face to reject so i give it reluctantly. but anyway i've decided i need to take much better care of my health so i'm keeping my jacket perma-on in school whether or not it's cold. and if my fingers keep hurting i'll put gao's guards back on even though it's very malu and uncomfortable. bye!

posted by xin! @ 1:35 PM 0 Comments

i just had this thought. what if speaking in tongues is like Eragon's Ancient Language that all living creatures can somehow understand? haha! cos i've been randomly practising the whole week and when i spoke to raptor on impulse just now, he suddenly responded with this whole flurry of cheeps and chirps! more than he usually does when i speak to him normally. so we had this very spastic dialogue of me uttering gibberish, and he'll crane his neck to listen, cock his head and say something back. and since some people think pigeons are like doves in symbolising the Holy Spirit (though i really dont think its the same) i decided to just continue speaking till we both got tired. haha! okay i think i'm being quite nonsensical and this theory probably has no basis. but it was just an interesting thing to ponder on (:

posted by xin! @ 7:02 PM 0 Comments

click to enlarge!



i teared (= thank you shu!

posted by xin! @ 9:30 PM 0 Comments

i wanna dieeee.

so. damn. stressed.

posted by xin! @ 9:26 PM 0 Comments

i really think i should have just gone prayer meeting this morning cos its 3.40pm now and i still havn't studied anw. hai.

anw i was looking through my canoeing stuff and i realised canoe has made me a lot stronger but yet alot weaker. stronger as in physically fit but weaker cos of all the injuries. i was looking at what mr nah wrote about 'xinhui is a very sporty student' and telling shar, 'that's not true at all!' to which she replied, 'maybe we were only acting at first but now it's become true.' i remember when we were playing squash, i was thinking, 'i bet i couldnt play like this if not for canoe.' it's not really that canoe gave me squash skills but more of the confidence to step out, chase and hit the ball (: which goes for other sports as well.

haha oh but the bad thing is i became so confident that i keep being reckless. like the time when i returned to training after i tore my arm muscle, i was so pissed at the missed episodes of training that i tried tailing yeelin and gao for 14 rounds. since i only managed 13 in the end, i decided to run at 13.0-14.0 for um i think 6km on the treadmill, and next thing i knew i was lying in A&E. haha!then there's also the part about tearing my arm again one week before nats, which was really...facepalm. i thought my injuries would go away after canoe but last week i realised my fingers are now in such bad shape, i couldnt lift the kettle with my right hand. and for napha, i had to pray really hard that i could complete my SBJ, situps, shuttlerun and pullups with a successful A on the first try. cos although everything improved, i knew there was no way my knees/ hip/ fingers could survive a second intensive session on the same day. haha! i sound like some old woman. but i still need to workout more!

posted by xin! @ 3:39 PM 0 Comments

this proves my point...



that anyone can piggyback me! :D



that's my junior team vice capt btw (: and she's shorter and lighter (but now she's got lotsa muscles so i dunno) than me!

posted by xin! @ 9:38 AM 0 Comments

i think lisa is super cool. her spirit of discernment is so strong that she can tell when people are talking about her! anw i'm just very very happy cos she cleared up something that's had me worried for weeks...but i think i need to confirm with her again. but at least now i know i must go straight to her if i have any doubts next time (:

posted by xin! @ 5:14 PM 0 Comments

i just finished 'operating' on raptor! whoa, damn scary. basically i removed the blister tape splints from his right foot, removed the left one sometime earlier in the week. took me forever to snip with the scissors...thank goodness he was quite cooperative after i muffled and restrained him with the towel. actually i think i prefer working on animals by myself rather than with an assistant cos there's no fear over lack of synchronisation and such. but the scary thing about working with birds is cos 1) they can only lose like 12-20 drops of blood (for small birds) before they collapse. and 2) they dont have diaphragms. so if you squeeze too tightly, they'll also suffocate and die. haha, i guess i should be happy raptor didnt try to peck me (: Canji bit me before (and he's like half of raptor's size) and he refused to let go and it was SUPER PAIN!

yesterday jinyi asked me if i'm stressed for As since i'm in hwach and i just...haha. stunned. i'm not really thinking about it cos I'm hundred percent confident God will bring me through (there is no other way for me to bypass my sucky SPAs). but it's true i wish people would stop saying being in hwach means we're smart and all cos its simply not true and it puts alot of pressure on us. frankly my brother is wayyyy smarter than me, the only reason i do better is cos i mug harder. to get into hwach alone meant mugging till 2am then sleeping till 4am and repeating the cycle.

so when mark asked if i still wanna be a doctor, i honestly don't know. if i'm a doc, i wanna specialise and not be one of those faceless polyclinic docs. but if we have so few years left, i wanna do more meaningful stuff like bond with cg and family and friends, continue my fostering and rehabbing, do alot alot alot more church stuff, go on mission trips with twin etc.but i cant do that if i wanna specialise in med, its like a 16hr work day! i'd much rather do vet science but finance-wise i'd never make it. plus, if i do vet science, i only have barely a year left with my cg before i fly off and i've only just joined while the rest've been here like forever! argh! and mark says we only need 3-4 more people before multiplying again. so by the time i complete 5 yrs of overseas studies i'll probably have to start all over again with a new cg! ): yet if i stay in sg n my grades make it, it'll prob be medicine. hai. how now brown cow. siannnnnn...

posted by xin! @ 9:06 PM 0 Comments

from this



to this.



(: 6 years and counting!

during the parade yesterday, sharon and i felt totally embarassed for the contingent commanders of NPCC and NCC because the performance turned in by the junior cadets was mortifying. i felt sad, kinda, that there's an increasing trend where the recruits don't have the same love and passion that the old-timers used to. Even in Young Adults, it's always the same old crowd that shows up every time there's something that needs to be done.

I think the saddest part of all is seeing young and vibrant recruits fizzle out and fade away slowly because they did not have the proper guidance, were not given sufficient chances to show their potential, or worse still (and this is the most common case) because they were not promoted. Maybe those not from a Uniformed Group wouldnt understand, but most sec 1s see promotion as the highest possible allocade and practically worship their leaders. But i think it is the most pathetic reason ever for a Guide to say "i wasn't promoted, and therefor i am not good enough. so there is no reason for me to strive for greater things.' NO! think about it. promotion takes place in late sec 2. are you saying that you are letting your final 2 years as a Guide go to waste simply because you don't have stripes on your shoulders? maybe you weren't chosen because the Court of Honor felt you had too many other leadership roles in school. maybe they wanted to give someone else a chance. or maybe they are using it as a test, and if you respond aptly, there will be greater roles bestowed on you in future. it hurts. more than anything. i know. but if you give up now, you risk losing EVERYTHING you've worked so hard for in the past 2 years.

also. authority. it's a very fine line to walk between not having blind obedience and outright defiance of your leader. I had a leader who 'bullied' her juniors into subservance by shouting and ranting at them. her rank was higher than another leader who was firm and authoritative without ever throwing her weight around. it doesnt take alot of brains to figure out who was better loved and respected. in UG, there is nothing quite as despicable as 'pulling rank' on another, because then you risk having bitter and halfhearted followers. Guide Law 6: 'a Guide is obedient.' NOT blind obedience. if the place you were told to prepare for outdoor cooking is wet and muddy, you'd definitely be betetr off choosing a drier spot but notifying your leader first right? Accountability's incredibly important cos in a company, if the recruits make a mistake, they don't get slammed. the COH does.but i've also seen Guides who give 'that look' when their dressing gets criticised during Fall In and they're obviously in the wrong. yes we're one big Company, but the Company Leader can't see to 140 guides concurrently. therefore we are broken down into Patrols and a Patrol Leader has every right act on behalf of a Company Leader at Patrol meetings.

haha okay i'm very drained now. it's just that there are many things i want to correct in my Company but there isn't time right now and it's very taxing especially with hilda gone. hai nvm as will be over soon.

posted by xin! @ 10:44 AM 0 Comments

haha my fever has disappeared! but i'm still coughing like quite badly so i have no idea how i'm going to sing at nat day celebrations and cg tmr without destroying the whole atmosphere...oh well. i'm gonna wear jeans so i wont freeze in sch audi, LT + cal's room (: NEED TO TRAIN TOLERANCE AGAINST COLD. oh yea, i just wanted to say thanks to all the people who've been texting me and praying for me to get well (: almost makes falling sick kinda worthwhile haha! it was really quite amazing cos my fever stayed at only a mild 37+ since tuesday. then on wednesday night it shot up to 39+ but amazingly i still felt fine, as in it's the first time i wasn't dying in bed when my temperature overshot 39. think twin must have been praying quite hard for me, she didnt tell me but hey dont forget we have telekinesis (: then the cool part was that after cal told me she'd pray for me (i think my fever was at 38+ then) i went online to talk to her and by the time i came offline, my body temperature was back at 36 degrees! haha! so cool right! i was also kinda hoping skindeep pseudo-friends wouldn't send me 'get-well-soon' texts cos i tend to get very annoyed thinking it's quite 'fake' when some're actually happy i'm not in school. it was nagging at the back of my mind but i dont think i prayed abt it, but guess what! nobody from that category texted me!! (: so i was able to slack my two days away reading pokemon comics and watching digimon on youtube in peace haha! alright i think i really better go do maths now. byebye!

posted by xin! @ 3:35 PM 0 Comments

i'm stuck at home for 2 days /:< i think self-study is much more productive for me than going to sch anw, but it's very annoying that i can't play with raptor anymore. cos human-animal viral transmission works best between humans and birds, and i don't want him to fall sick.i'm not as sick as i thought i'd be though, thank God for that (:

posted by xin! @ 11:50 AM 0 Comments

Xin took the Who is your Guardian Angel? quiz and the result is Michael

"Who is like God", "Like unto God", "Who is like the Divine" The first Angel created by God, Michael is the leader of all the Archangels and is in charge of protection, courage, strength, truth and integrity. Michael protects us physically, emotionally and psychically. He also oversees the lightworker's life purpose. His chief function is to rid the earth and its inhabitants of the toxins associated with fear. Michael carries a flaming sword that he uses to cut through etheric cords and protects us from Satan and negative entities. When he's around you may see sparkles or flashes of bright blue or purple light. Michael is helping if you find yourself under psychic attack or if you feel you lack commitment, motivation and dedication to your beliefs, courage, direction, energy, vitality, self-esteem, worthiness. Michael helps us to realize our life's purpose and he's invaluable to lightworkers helping with protection, space clearing and spirit releasement. Michael conquered the fallen Angel Satan, was in the Garden of Eden to teach Adam how to farm and care for his family, spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai and in 1950 he was canonized as Saint Michael, "the patron of Police Officers," because he helps with heroic deeds and bravery. Michael also has an incredible knack for fixing electrical and mechanical devices, including computers and automobiles. Michael helps us to follow our truth without compromising our integrity and helps us to find our true natures and to be faithful to who we really are. Michael's message is dont be afraid to stand for what you believe in and to fight for what you desire in life!!"

haha so cool! i always liked Michael alot (: okay i feel very motivated to study now byebye!

posted by xin! @ 8:33 PM 0 Comments

tomorrow, will really be a test of my faith and strength >.<

argh now i wish i'd talked to some of my cg ppl abt it a lil more so i could at least message them for help or support if i really buckle. so tomorrow i'm only gonna be armed with mark's advice(its in my diary on the page labelled 'wisdom courtesy of mark (= HAHA), whatever i can rmb discussing with cal at her house ages ago (honestly i cant rmb much >.<) and with jeff in the car, my bible, the chopsticks shuling gave me (i cant keep breaking quinn's stationery or classroom door handles), all the verses i've marked down and whatever i may gleam from QT later...its quite funny remembering last monday when i spent loads of time hyping myself up in the morning, praying like crazy and listening to my Christian songs in an effort to prep myself. i went to school feeling very high with a really tangible presence of the Spirit around me only to realise there wasn't any need to do battle that day, heh. it's been a relaxing one-week long break so tmr, i gotta do my best!

ultimately i've realised that it isn't really any advise from cal/jeff/mark which makes me feel confident, but rather the knowledge that they'll be there if i need help, which gives me the warm fuzzy contented feeling and calms me down. its like shuling said, 'if you're nervous with God+friends+cg behind you then imagine how she'd feel with no one on her side.' ah Lord please heal my throat, i'll need all the help i can get tmr (= somehow, i don't feel scared at all.

posted by xin! @ 8:58 PM 0 Comments

recently i keep feeling like i have the bestest friends in the world (: well we'll see how things go next week, heh.

bullying wanli was fun service was fun but i wish i wasnt sickish! anw sharon said sth to me like, 'i know its hard for people to gain your respect and i understand why you treat hx and some others the way you do, if i were in your place i'd feel the same. but if the day comes that you disobey your CGL or any other church leader, i'd feel really really scared for you.' (=

HAHA, the expression on her face really made me laugh. but then again, i have a very different way of showing respect as compared to other people (=

posted by xin! @ 6:54 PM 0 Comments