I like what Lisa said: 'submitting to A leader is not the same as submitting to YOUR leader.'
I guess alot of times, we don't get to choose the leaders whom God assigns as overseers of our lives. But each and every time, we get to choose whether or not we wanna submit. whether it's a 'flow' or 'he's younger than me' or 'but he's my friend leh' problem, Peter said to submit not only to the gentle leaders but also to the harsh...and its also said in Isaiah that the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land. Not just the obedient, but the WILLING and obedient. Ultimately... God looks at the heart. (:
Went shopping w Adel today and bought 2 gorgeous dresses!! (: (: (:
Haha. I don't usually post this kinda stuff. But these 2 purchases really made me very happy cos they were the perfect ending to an awesome day of fellowship. I don't usually like to go shopping either. But boy am I glad I went today! (:
Feels like I'm out of my depth.
But, I WILL gain my footing.
Devil. GET LOST.
The best presents are always those given outta love and not obligation.
Each year on my bdae, I make a wish to God. And by the same time the following year, it'll always have come true...because Daddy God loves me so much. This year, on His bdae, I wanna give Him a gift too. I wanna make a commitment to step out of my comfort zone and grow into the person God has called me to be. The smokescreens and whatnot were fun, and at a point in time, even necessary. But now I know without a doubt that that season is over, and it's time for me to move on. Because I love Him, I will. And because He loves me back even more so, I know He'll give me every bit of strength I need to walk through this w Him. Hand in hand; together.
I am so amazed by and so proud of my brother. For all the years of animosity we've had, it has been a real joy hanging out with him these past couple of weeks and discovering (aft 19 long years) that relating to him is really no more difficult than relating to any other guy friend of mine. And the past few months of events have shown me that...bro. You really do care, don't you? Young you might appear, raw you might be...but there's no doubt you're gonna make a majorly fine gentleman someday (:
Had a v short but blessed time of companionship w my bros and cousin. Ansel and I were re-discussing "girl's intuition": how girls always seem to know when there're problems brewing in friendships. Actually, I think it's not so much of a "sixth sense" thing, but what we learnt in cg: we're spirit beings, hence, there is always a spirit-to-spirit connection. Maybe girls just appear to have it more strongly? After all, we were called to be the ones to love, to guide, to nurture...somethings, it's a real blessing, cos the first step to overcoming a problem is always recognizing the existence of one in the first place. But discerning that a prob exists is just the easy part...the really hard part comes in deciding what to do next. Silence doesn't always heal. More often than not, it kills. Gives the devil so much more room to work when doubts are left uncleared and misunderstandings remain festering. Poison tree. Silent pride. Someone once said that resentment is like drinking poison yourself while hoping that the other person dies. Scary isn't it? Lord, if ever I find myself in such a situation...please help me with the courage and motivation to speak up and not sweep everything under the carpet.
knowing that a passion for God is not the same as a love for God
today's my last paper...i smell FREEDOM!! (: (: end the race well xinhui...
adel just texted and invited me to play guit for carolling! that's like WHOA :D haha incentive for me to ace my paper then chiong home and prac!
anw, exams always remind me to be ready in and out of season. it seems like opportunities always appear when we're alr stretched to breaking point. and if we're not ready at that split moment when God calls...blink. you never know when that opp will return to you...if it ever does. which is a huge motivation for me to always be on task and get things done ahead of time! (:
yest's sermon was really good (:
self-control.
15 days to make a dream come true (:
i've re-watched the Make It or Break It episodes so many times and yet i never get tired of it. it's so motivating; inspiring; refreshing. to be able to fight for your dreams and keep such strong faith against all odds...those girls are really something.
i was watching payson's comeback episode just now, and it touched me so much that i teared. how long has it been since i last shone for God the way payson shone for her coach, her friends, her team, her family? when was it that i lost my drive to push myself to the next level? that i decided its okay to settle for second best in my studies, my life, the relationships i have with the people around me? the last time that i really fought for sth i believed in and sth i wanted so badly...it seems so long ago now that i can't even rmb.
i wanna do well again. Lord, grant me the strength to fight, the courage to believe, the grace to love...
Not my will but Your be done (:
Trusting Daddy God in a whole lot of things now. Tmr's my first day of exams. Excited for God's grace to overflow into my life! (:
back from my first ever s1 service and i felt so refreshed and impacted by the worship and Word. Indeed, Your fire guides by night... (:
studying has not been easy because this study method is now really foreign to me. it's been 7 yrs since i last stepped into the exam hall confident that i knew the subject and intentionally not memorising my notes word for word...and at the same time i'm nervous thinking it might just be laziness on my part and not just an act of faith. but today's worship really reminded me to just do my best and leave the rest up to God (:
on a happier note, it's been really cool being able to study w the campus peeps 24/7 (: was scanning through the book on 5 love languages and it's very cool haha. mine's predominantly quality time so it makes me really really happy to have my friends around me(: even if we're just mugging and not saying a word...their presence still means a whole lot to me (:
3 more days to exams ):
Motivation, please return to me asap!
Very confusing day and alot of thoughts are raging through my mind.
Thanking God for a painful lesson learnt last week that taught me the danger of meddling with cheap grace. Extremely painful reminder, but one which I needed badly. Today, that memory stopped me from willfully pressing on with sth that could have garnered much more severe results.
Unable to find words to describe the joy I felt when I saw my Sot friends again. Shawn Timothy Alicia Bryan Hanxian Kendrick. Haha, Sot ministry friends count as Sot friends. So extremely grateful for those that rushed down despite having to work and last-minute notice.
Fear of man threatening to overwhelm me when I least expect it. Old fears, old insecurities. Lord, help me rmb that I'm Your child and that Your grace is sufficient for me. That all things work out for the good of those who love You, that you have plans to give me a future and a hope.
Scary to see my friends growing up so fast. I know it's inevitable and that I gotta do so too.
Wondering if those five words will ever come to pass, and at this point in time, not really caring anymore.
Learning to navigate the stings of broken promises. I need to find a balance between overcoming the hurt and not becoming numb.
Gotta expand capacity.
Wondering what tmr will bring.
First time in 6 yrs that I'm deliberately not photographic-memorizing my notes for exams. Lord, I chose econs so I could learn to be smart. To do well for exams without regurgitating notes...Lord, help me to keep that faith. And that it would be out of a sincere desire to learn to be smart and not out of laziness.
Love more.
Think less (:
Our word is our bond. How much is your word worth to you?
I really dislike having 2phones -.- the typing styles are so different and I don't have all the contacts I need in my mom's phone. Argh! Anw, I really really want a BB but the problem lies in that it's a WANT not a NEED. as in, I definitely need a new phone, but it doesn't have to be a BB. heh :P maybe I can compromise? Like if I get a BB, I'll put in extra effort to reply SMS-es on time, actually bother to check my mail more than once a week, uhh...cultivate greater love for SMS fellowship? Hahaha it's all just excuses la :P I'll think abt it more after exams (:
