<3

i just finished 'operating' on raptor! whoa, damn scary. basically i removed the blister tape splints from his right foot, removed the left one sometime earlier in the week. took me forever to snip with the scissors...thank goodness he was quite cooperative after i muffled and restrained him with the towel. actually i think i prefer working on animals by myself rather than with an assistant cos there's no fear over lack of synchronisation and such. but the scary thing about working with birds is cos 1) they can only lose like 12-20 drops of blood (for small birds) before they collapse. and 2) they dont have diaphragms. so if you squeeze too tightly, they'll also suffocate and die. haha, i guess i should be happy raptor didnt try to peck me (: Canji bit me before (and he's like half of raptor's size) and he refused to let go and it was SUPER PAIN!

yesterday jinyi asked me if i'm stressed for As since i'm in hwach and i just...haha. stunned. i'm not really thinking about it cos I'm hundred percent confident God will bring me through (there is no other way for me to bypass my sucky SPAs). but it's true i wish people would stop saying being in hwach means we're smart and all cos its simply not true and it puts alot of pressure on us. frankly my brother is wayyyy smarter than me, the only reason i do better is cos i mug harder. to get into hwach alone meant mugging till 2am then sleeping till 4am and repeating the cycle.

so when mark asked if i still wanna be a doctor, i honestly don't know. if i'm a doc, i wanna specialise and not be one of those faceless polyclinic docs. but if we have so few years left, i wanna do more meaningful stuff like bond with cg and family and friends, continue my fostering and rehabbing, do alot alot alot more church stuff, go on mission trips with twin etc.but i cant do that if i wanna specialise in med, its like a 16hr work day! i'd much rather do vet science but finance-wise i'd never make it. plus, if i do vet science, i only have barely a year left with my cg before i fly off and i've only just joined while the rest've been here like forever! argh! and mark says we only need 3-4 more people before multiplying again. so by the time i complete 5 yrs of overseas studies i'll probably have to start all over again with a new cg! ): yet if i stay in sg n my grades make it, it'll prob be medicine. hai. how now brown cow. siannnnnn...

posted by xin! @ 9:06 PM