first cgm of the year is over! it was very heartening to see everyone gathered together to praise God once again. Hallelujah!
have been really excited for the offering msg this week cos it's the first time i put so much effort into internalising the message. it's been a good week as well cos i've finally accomplished my goal of doing qt first thing every morning for 5 days straight! hahaha. after the leading games thingy w daniel, i'm v v determined to carry the anointing and presence of God no matter what segment of cg i'm helping out in. and also in every single area of my life. (: after preaching the offering today, i feel like the effort has really paid off. praise God for the breakthrough! (:
okays, ending here cos got tuition early tmr. nights (:
i got the elective i wanted--astro! (: God is good (: but even if i didn't--God is STILL good! without a doubt! (:
wondering whether to overload for this sem. currently, i only have 5 mods, of which one is non-examinable, so technically, i only have 4 papers to sit for. very tempting to take on one more elective and stretch a lilll bit more...*tsk*
anyways, last sem was very happy cos i managed to get my 7hrs of sleep daily plus life outside of studies. it was kinda a 'test' for me--although it was very tempting to succumb to memorising my notes flat out and mugging into the night, i really wanted to believe God that i would be able to get a good grade while simultaneously taking care of my body and actually understanding what i was studying. at the same time, 'testing' to see how much other stuff --cg, ministry (though i didnt actually do much last sem)--i could juggle at the same time. that step of faith really paid off. i feel very encouraged and bolder to take on more tasks and responsibilities this sem (:
just can't stop thinking about this one phrase...God is GOOD!!!!!!
handling games at quad uni was an awesome feeling. though i did absolutely nothing, the stuff that daniel shared with me in those few short minutes blew my mind away. to carry the anointing when leading games...to share the joy of the Lord during the session...to use games as a means of preparing the people's hearts for praise and worship...WOW. i'll never look at, or handle, games the same way again.
had a very good time fellowshipping w rui yest. she shared some stuff with me that really made me think, visualise, and pray. deep down, i know my reasons for not wanting to leave are not valid. it's like pastor said--i like my tent. it's comfy, it's sth i feel called to, and no doubt i'd be willing to lay my life down for it. but to walk down a different path...a path which i have absolutely zero passion for? it's like dance all over again. would i be willing to lay down what i want in exchange for what God wants? this time, there is so much more at stake.
deep down, i already know my answer. now, i just need the go-ahead and the wisdom to carry it through...
results came out. i'm ever so grateful to God...and ever so thankful for the peeps that steered me down the right road. (:
only by the grace of God
woohoo, i just received another tuition offer (:
had a talk with victor last week about expanding my capacity and expanding the sizes of my classes. yet even as the harvest comes in, i think i need to be wiser in the way i manage finances. i dont have a problem with saving or spending, but i have a big big problem with negotiating monetary issues w other ppl. aways been kinda scared of it cos if handled wrongly, it can really ruin a relationship. but to have it affect me so badly that i shy away from negotiating my salary or collecting money for group presents is like -.- okays, must make a resolution this year to be more confident in this area. i MUST be a good steward!
sam just told me an awesome piece of news last night: he's finally teaching bs! (: whoo, so proud of and happy for him man! finally entering his calling of being a TEACHER (: i wanted to post everyone's breakthroughs up here but i decided it might not be the wisest decision haha. cos some of us are still in the process of sorting things out, so better not count the chickens before they're hatched. not that i doubt the visions--but it'd be more exciting to look back on the races after everyone's standing at the end point tgt.
(then again, there's never really an end point for our walk, is there? maybe a better phrase would be after everybody's entered into the visions we had in sot tgt (: )
anw, i was thinking about how God has blessed my family this past year and i'm really very awed at all the milestones that have been accomplished. my parents used to be very anti-christian, but now, they're quite chillax with church stuff and all. my dad was the most angsty one, but amazingly, he was the one that gave me the go-ahead for sot and also the relatively chill one about building fund. my mom sponsored me ~$400 for my mission trip, and she never fails to separates all the idol-worshipped/non-idol-worshipped food for me at home (and the coolest part is, i didn't even request for it. i just told her, 'mom, it'd be better if i didnt eat that' and amazingly, not only did she not object, but she went to separate all the stuff for me :D) plus, she allowed me to join the campus peeps for the new year countdown sleepover; and i really thank God for the moments when she'll 'casually' tell me, 'eh, rmb to pray for me ah.' (note to self: PLS LEARN TO PRAY IN MANDARIN). bro has become alot more relatable to and a more filial and responsible person as well; not to mention, he was the first person that i reached out to in my family.
so all in all, PRAISE GOD for an awesome year with my family! and looking forward to more to come (:
emily just told me that she thinks registering for mods is more stressful for exams ): sighh, i kinda think she's right.
today morn was fun! went macritche+brunch+koi w the campus peeps (: though we didnt really hike much HAHA. anw im quite siann-ed now cos i registered 2 cores at the wrong timing--one's too early and the other one clashes w my accountancy elec ): okay, it's not really cos wrong timing, but rather i chose those timings to fit other elecs which i later decided not to take. rawrs.
i blog alot more ramblings when it's hols and i'm bored. hmms.
so glad that the blindness period has lifted! phew (: can feel the sound mind sound judgement returning. FOCUS!
2010 has taught me the value of relationships (: of loving and appreciating the people around me a whole lot more. the 2 most impt things i learnt: 1) unconditional acceptance, and 2) to believe in others. i learnt that loving people is a choice, and that if my love and acceptance isn't unconditional...well, that's not love. that's 'friendship' with strings attached. but true love is a decision to stick with your buddy through thick and thin, to put a smile on your face even when it's alr been a bad day and the other person is still grating on your nerves. to put your own needs aside, surrender your 'rights' and grow your heart capacity larger than the situation at hand...
and secondly...i learnt the importance of believing in others. before 2010, i didnt fully understand what it means by 'praise should be extravagant.' but i met a friend who is all that and more. somebody who showers me with gratitude for the smallest of tasks accomplished, and encouragement + prayers for seemingly tiny areas of my life. when a person falls short of your expectations, it's very natural--and completely justifiable-- to say 'its alright, i still believe in you' but hesitate to let the person shoulder responsibility once more. but i met a person who not only gave me the grace to forgive and forget my mistakes, but (at my most undeserving) gave me chance after chance to redeem myself until i finally broke through into my vision. and it was this determination not to forego the other person's trust that gave me the fighting spirit and motivation to do better and stand up again.
right now, i'm skating on thin ice. there are areas in my life which mean so much to me; yet it feels like i've erred so badly in them that i'm now grasping at thin air. it frustrates me more than i can say to want to do so much but yet zoom around in circles. but deep in my heart, i know that my God who has given me the vision will also give me the provision. Lord, this is my prayer for 2011. just one more chance...
new week, new start (:
past week was very nua! alot of slacking at home/ catching up w frens. (sarah will kill me if she sees this. cos 'practising guitar' isn't listed :P) highlight was undoubtedly the dinner w bert and mars! POWERFUL, just one session of discussing life, dreams, and visions; and i feel so recharged and ready to go (: haha and i accompanied adel for studying on thurs. brought my macbook along and it miraculously revived its internet connection! *happy* (:
i think my goals for this year are quite simple. returning to foundational work; they just require a good amount of hard work, determination...and praying (: haha. trusting in God that this year, i'll have the focus to see all my goals through. and feeling very heartened at the thought of running the race w the sot peeps and other close friends! hopefully, we can meet up regularly to keep each other on track and accountable for our goals.
when the mental battle's won, half the victory's already yours.
Suddenly I rmb what zek said in Can A so long long long ago and it's like....o.O WHOA that must have been one heck of a prophecy!
I had a v blessed talk w some of the campus peeps in the wee hours of the morning (: Esther Zhitai Celiana Isaac Jeffrey Ivan. Didn't quite realize just how much I learnt from it until a while ago when I was mediating over some of the points touched. It was truly another kairos moment of fellowship and one which i'm very humbled by and grateful for.
2011 shall be our best year yet (:
I guess it's at the times when you're most down that you learn to stand up and fight.
Honestly, I am sick of this dilly-dallying back and forth. Playing ultimate ninja the other day was a huge reminder to me that I can only emerge a winner if I choose to face my problems head on and stop trying to evade them. Devil, I REFUSE to play mind games with you. And I am so totally sick and tired of falling short every time because I (whether unwittingly or not) put too much faith in man rather than God. You want to fight? Sure, I'll thrash it out with you. Just that this time, I'm making absolutely sure I put on the full armor of God. This time, you are not gonna win.
