<3

this morning calista asked me why i kept giggling during bible study and i don't really know how to answer. it's just that i get high very easily and especially when i sense God's presence, alot of happy stuff will flash through my mind and i just feel like i'm bursting with joy...i remembered that during cell group, there're also times when lisa will suddenly look at me and ask why i'm smiling cos i just couldnt stop the happiness from showing when God shows me his Word. it's also why i don't like praying with people cos i will say very silly and kiddy stuff to God and i will randomly get high when his presence strikes me.this morning i just felt very blessed that cal was sharing her knowledge with me and during service, God was also literally flooding me with warm fuzzy thoughts...i just kept laughing all the way throughout!

christine also told me that God is her lover and friend, and i feel that God is basically my daddy, my big brother, my guardian and my best friend rolled into one. ever since i joined chc, God is someone who is on my mind 101% and i can't stop thinking about Him. He shows me the simple pleasures of playing in the rain, of going home at midnight after cg and singing to him as i walk through the dark streets, of just waking up and realising that it's another wonderful day the Lord has made. even when He tests me with problems, i feel very priviledged that He has entrusted me with a task and instead of feeling worried, i get excited cos i see it as a test and i wanna see how high i can score! :D i still remember the week after i received tongues, i was so exhilarated i kept practising under my breath everywhere i went, at home, in school, on the streets, and people around me suddenly started smiling and laughing. it's like a talisman for me against all hurts, and cheryl also told me that praying in tongues washes all her worries away.

plus, God is super gentle with me! there was one week when i kept getting scolded by Him and one day i broke down cos i was so sick of being reprimanded. the next day, He sent me a verse: Hebrews 12:5-7:

5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." 7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? "

so yep, i decided to work harder on my task and His chiding stopped! yay! i rmb sally telling me recently about this wonderful birthday present she received from God and i wrote in my QT diary that i wanted one too. then i realised, God's already given me my birthday wish from last year! (: it's a very simple one: i just asked God to take control of my life and make me happy. yes, it's wonderful to ask for world peace, cure for HIV, no more hunger and the like. and many people have so many things they'd like from God, they cant decide what to ask for first. but i felt that rather than asking for so much, i should just ask to be contented because the richest man is not he who has the most but he who needs the least. if world peace and a whole bunch of other noble stuff makes me happy, and God grants my very simple wish to be joyful always, havn't i received it all? (: even when i get down or depressed in school, God always sends someone along to gimme a hug or send me an sms when i need it most. even better, He tells me about people around me who need His love even more than i do, and when i attend to them, good stuff always happens that washes my hurt away.

before i could speak in tongues, mark was telling me i had to have a very fervent desire for it but somehow i couldn't get myself to press for it. cos although i wanted it very badly and i badgered everyone i knew to tell me more, this voice in my mind kept going, why should i worry so much? why should i plead and annoy God about it everyday to give it to me asap? i already know that He will grant it to me as He sees fit, so what i did was just practise at home and pray for it everyday. then one day Mark told me, 'you're gonna get it at prayer meeting later!' and true enough, i did!

haha so...yeah. dont worry, be happy (: just...ask for stuff with an open heart and mind. Dad never lets us down.

posted by xin! @ 3:56 PM