my workload's building up >< there's actually plenty of time for me to complete my homework and stuff...but i'm kinda stressed cos i'd feel better if there was time to do revision as well ): but one thing i really really like alot is the feeling of being able to study hard and keep up with lessons again (: after two years of sleeping through all my lessons and having absolutely no idea what the teacher is talking about...wow. this is bliss. and i'm gonna treasure it (:
i like ntu life alot cos of the ppl haha. been spending alot of time with the campus ministry peeps and it's awesome (: study play eat study play eat. past week's been...lol. guitar boot camp with linkai sia. yunrui says she's making us take a huge leap of faith. but honestly, i'm just super grateful that she's giving us the chance (: and i'm really determined to do well...going jacq's house tonight for extra practise (: extra quality time with kairos darling!! hahaha. and CM aside, my classmates are awesomely cool ppl!!! esp the he102 and hmm1 friends :P and my he102 friends are in he101 and he103 as well (: mb107 is just to get bullied by lester -.- okayyyys i'm sill loving ntu though. life's good! (:
God is so awesome!! ((:
just came home from hiphop2. and finally finally finally...i've managed to catch up on what i missed during the first 2 lessons. oh mans...i'm just at a loss of words to describe how happy i am. it feels like all the extra time practising and staring at youtube videos this week was worth it... (:
it's been a humbling experience, which made me realise just how badly i depend on God's grace. hiphop1 was a step of faith which i didnt expect to survive. but when i did...i started thinking, hey, maybe its not that bad after all. it was only when i got thrown in the deep end for hiphop2 (i missed the first 2 lessons cos of sot graduation service n malang mission trip) and started struggling that i realised that all along, it wasn't me. it was all Him. and i'm just so grateful for this chance i've been given. to dance my heart out (:
I will be still and know You are God (:
i just had a revelation of what faith really is (:
i was sitting on my bed last night wondering why it's so hard to get over the activation energy to practise my guitar or hiphop. wasn't even really praying...but i just sensed Daddy Lord saying that its cos i have no faith that i'll succeed. like sometimes, i'll wonder if all the practise is ever gonna get me anywhere in the end. and if it isn't, wouldn't it be easier for me to just quit now? i read a report that says many people don't do sports cos they think they'll fail. and so its easier for them to hold back cos, if they don't try, they won't know for certain they'll fail. they can hide behind the wall of doubt and say, maybe it'd have worked out well in the end. or why us sports ppl have so many 'injuries'. we can say 'sorry, i'm not trying my best cos i'm injured.' but maybe more than that...we're afraid to try our best, not knowing whether we'll succeed.
yknow, isn't this v similar to our Christian life? like when we sow, our human minds don't know for certain that we'll reap. when we think about life past death, we don't know if there's truly a heaven. just cos we havn't seen it, we start to doubt...but yknow what? we have FAITH that everything's gonna work out fine in the end . cos the written Word of God says so...cos we've tasted of the goodness and know it to be true...cos we believe in an AMAZING God! (: in my darkest moments, i've stood up again because people've told me 'i believe in you.' that's one of the sweetest and most touching things anyone's ever said to me...it's what fuels me to fight on and not let the other person down. and i think faith's like that. it's an exchange principle. when we're trusting enough to say, 'God, i believe in You...' He's so touched that He'll give all it takes to come through for us. isn't that why we say God is moved not by desperation but by faith? (:
and for that alone, i'm not gonna give up on dance and guit (: cos i know there's Someone awesome who's here to guide me through. every step of the way (:
i'd totally forgotten about this place.
haha. somehow i cant overcome the activation energy to blog anymore. still considering whether to continue, but in the meantime, here's an update of my life.
i think the past 8 months have just been this amazingly mindblowing part of my life that words could never describe. i'm still thinking about that night a year ago outside macs when mark was prophesying over me and i didn't even know it. and how my life has changed since then. sot, guitar, dance...cultural mandate. mission trip. and so much more. my heart's just overwhelmed by the extent of God's love and grace towards me. i'm not the kind of person who gets into trouble and cries out to God for help. i'm the kind who doesnt cry out cos i dont even realise when i'm in trouble. yet time and again, He's come through for me.prayer group: i didn't forsee that i'd need unlimited sms-es to text my members until my dad had alr blessed me with a new plan. uni: which dummy totally forgets about having to apply for uni/ submit forms/ grab mods? me. i'd no idea how to do anything--and i wasn't even worried (i'm not proud of it btw.) and yet Daddy Lord placed so many wonderful ppl in my life to bug me till i finally overcame my procrastination and completed all the documents. and every day in uni, i can see His Hand moving so tangibly in my life. somehow, there're always people to eat with me, fellowship together, guide me to my classes. Dad doesn't just give me the things i ask for. He gives me the things that i don't even realise i need, and hence, don't even ask for.
1 John 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world.love You so much. (:
