i'm sick for the third time in three weeks. this isn't funny ):
okay on a much much much happier note, sharon got offered the post of Area Overseeing CGL!! (or words to that effect, i cant rmb) hahaha she told me in the LT and i got so excited i jumped straight up in my seat, honestly, i think i was more ecstatic than her, i was bouncing nonstop (: this is like WOW first she was the youngest ever CGL in her church and now she's gonna be the youngest ever AOCGL (if the other younger girl who also got offered this position doesnt take it up). so anw if she accepts it'd be a really good opportunity for her to rise in leadership level and stuff, but then again she'd have to leave the cg she's been leading for like 3-4 years ): we talked about it and i think she should take up the offer, but then again, she's got 3 more weeks to decide (: TWIN I'M SUPER SUPER PROUD OF YOU :D
oh yes, when she was trying to persuade me to go for prom:
shar: what incentive must i give you that you'll come for prom?
me: if i get to wear sneakers with my dress (=
shar: ..... i don't want you to come for prom already
haha! okay forgive my ranting i'm just too excited abt the AOCGL thingy. bounce bounce bounce~
im posting on a weekday cos this is urgent,
anyone wants to take in a pigeon? it's eating and seems quite alright, but i'm worried cos it limps a little and cant fly well. it's quite tame, i'll tell you more if you can foster it. just for a little while, a week or so, until its okay to be released again. of course if you fall in love with it and decide to give it a perma home...heh heh.
i'm vexed cos i know i shouldnt be doing such stuff with incomplete studies at hand. yet another day of mugging gone (okay but partly also cos i went to cut my hair, i look like some little kid now). im so tired, but arent we all ):
service today was AWESOME (: i think i like it best outta all the 3 i've been to, haha! i finally got the spiritual encounter Mark prayed for, its really...tangible :D
anyway i think what really scared me today was the scene which reminded me so much of the court-of-honor during guides. everytime i remember how much hurt and pain the politics over rank caused, i just feel like hiding under my bed to cry. the exclusion, the fear which comes everytime i see Subway, remembering waiting for yanni and fangting for hours till the leaders were done...it's shocking that something which i last experienced almost 2 years ago can still stay with me and haunt me till this day. honestly, i felt ashamed to have let it affect me so badly that i was walking around in a numb daze. i thought i was over it, but i guess it's just another ghost of the past which i need to learn to overcome.
i promised shuling i'd only use the com on weekends so just a quick update:
going home aft cell grp yesterday was quite hilarious cos i think we were initially supposed to drop me off first then jeff then sheryl. halfway thru jeff and i realised our discussion was quite lengthy so he asked the uncle to drop sheryl off first which made the poor cabbie super confused lol. and the best part was when he gave his address and added 'choa chu kang', the uncle went, 'aiyo...this address is in bkpj not cck...' hahaha shucks and i thought my direction was bad enough!
anw i spent the better half of my day cleaning my room. rapty is officially the most Loser (with a capital L) bird in the world. i think he's the only poor squab who still can't fly at 2months plus and resorts to playing monkey bars and bowling as recreation, lol. and then guess who has to clean up after him?
cafe cartel with shuling was the love, the frappes are <3
yesterday i lost my cool during the last period and broke quinn's pen into halves. i tore out of the LT before i could do anything worse and roamed amongst the class benches until teck yuke took pity on me and gave me his eraser to pulverise, haha. unhappy as i was i still felt really grateful that there were people i could relate to and trust in; people who actually care what happens to me and go the extra mile to cheer me up (: when shu and i were walking out of school, jingyi asked me what happened and i totally lost my temper and slammed everything straight out. i'm not proud of what i did, and like what sally said, 'haiyo...so violent' but i honestly think it's better for me to break a pen than to break people's necks.
today was basically quite depressing...i hate how people can say it one way and act another. and i like the quote on the bookmark! "if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find it at the end of your own arm". YEA MAN! (:
shuling messaged me after sally left and her words made me realise how much sally cheered me up when she came over (: it was such a subconscious thing that i didn't even notice it, but i'm really glad that she drew my attention to it so i'll rmb to count my blessings. last night i was thinking, except from the one stupid event that's weighing me down+my results, i'm extremely extremely happy with my life now (:
okay i'd like to elaborate alot more but my schedule is extremely off-track so bye for now!
my gp compo got returned! I got 33 but i'm still really grateful cos i was expecting more of 30 max...i think mrs lee gave me impression marks like mr wong used to do /: not that i'm complaining, heh. there's still compre. -crosses fingers
anw i realised there's a lot of fun stuff to be done after As but the thing that terrifies me most is getting my rollerblades out again. i learnt a lil in sec 4 but halfway through i quit cos i didnt want to break any bones before my PGA test -.- i seem to have become extremely injury-prone after canoe though, so i'm even more scared t try them out now!
I FINISHED MY PRELIMS TIMETABLE WHOO (: im gonna make the people who keep coping it pay me big bucks haha!!
too fast, too furious, it won't do any good.
phantom pain >:/ go away and leave my arm alone.
i'm going dragon boating with sally on sun, how cool is that! :D if we capsize, my ego is going to take a huge bruising heheh.
was supposed to meet teck ben and zach for harry potter today but felt quite sick (i've been feeling sick almost the entire week, i'm amazed i've lasted this long) so i came home. cos fri is cell grp sat is shu/keat/team splash and sun is dragonboat plus maybe church IF i can get my work done so i'm not about to risk freezing in a theatre with fever >:)
haha oh and guess what, sharon got cool new sports shoes and i'm incredibly jealous so what does my dear twin do, she offered to trade her flats in and get a new pair for me! hahaha joke of the century, but since everyone is refusing to go out with me in my ratty old slippers i guess i don't really have a choice ): no more running jumping kicking people ):
okay that long post was just to postpone studying (:
today raptor got out of his basket again! (: all my hwach friends are quite excited about his progress/ coming over to see him but we all think he's a little slow on the flying side, lol. yesterday i was chasing him with my shirt and he keep making these funny lil bounces as he ran, but no real lifting off the floor yet :D
rapty please grow up strong and healthy; we're all gunning for you (: there is something about seeing a lil bird ride and overcome all life's problems that's extremely motivating and heartening.
twin and i went cafe cartel today! haha we were discussing God stuff and whoa 4 hours flew by just like that...i realised time always passes very fast whenever i discuss christian matters with people around me. but it was definitely worth it cos we laughed ourselves silly, felt very enlightened + bonded and prayed together afterwards (: not to mention the mocha and oreo frappes <3 i'm starting to have real faith that if we work together, we can solve anything with the grace of God (:
today's fb verse: "I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do."
hahaha i read sth on fb and ouch slammed my fist into the computer table and im feeling all that pent up rage rising again i need anger management this time its just my silly insecure self speaking havnt felt this way since forever wtv im gonna prove i can get through this i wanna do QT like RIGHT NOW but bio isnt done and hahaha okay nvm brain going crazy i like to type without punctuation once in a while byebye friday sunday came quick yay
haha okay anw (speaking normally now) i think raptor is very good at calming me down cos he does the fragile-little-bird thingy which makes me have to watch my step around him. like if Titan or Dinner was beside me i'd probably growl in anger and strangle them (need a hug) but rapt would prolly turn into a pancake on the spot. but yep he's snoozing his lil head off now so haha the computer table will do :D
angry
my pri sch teacher used to say that i'm nicer to animals than humans and i think he's right. i would never hesitate to help a baby or injured creature in need but somehow when it turns to people i have a really strong disliking for those are weak. i'm not talking about physical disabilities but rather, people who are weak in mind and character....and i think it is because when animals find themselves in difficulty, they are usually at the end of their tether and don't have a choice. humans do. there is a saying that if you want to be saved from drowning, you need to take the initiative to grab your rescuer's hand. my patrol leader once told me that when a person asks repeatedly about what route she should take to alleviate a difficult situation despite having been told the answer multiple times before, it is no longer a matter of not having a solution but rather, avoiding it because it seems unpleasant...the way a cure can sometimes be more painful than the disease. why, then, do you want to bemoan your fate when it is you yourself who is unwilling to overcome it?it is easy for us to blame the circumstances when we encounter an obstacle, but if the same problem happens once, twice, thrice over or even more, perhaps we should acknowledge that the fault lies not with others but with ourselves.
HAPPY BDAE SHEILA! :D
(oh yea must invite her so she can see this haha)
just came back from a 3hr long bio lecture on a SATURDAY. what is wrong with the school sia...audi was freezing cold and my entire right side hurts damn bad from squash yesterday. incidentally my right side hurts so much cos i kept hitting people in the head when i played on the left and used backhand, so sharon confined me to playing on the right and only using forehand ): but hey not bad for my maiden squash pe lesson hahah!
anw raptor is mad at me ( i think) cos i didnt feed him dinner yesterday nor breakfast today in an attempt to make the lazy bum peck food on his own. heard alot of cheeping from his basket just now and suddenly he appeared in front of me, NOT BAD he's managed to flap out on his own! :D
i typed this very angry post about how violent i'm feeling right now but haha decided i should calm myself down instead. and sheila, simin and zona and i were discussing raptor so...
i like snuggling with raptor and watching him wrestle with my shirt before hopping onto my shoulder and messing with my hair or pecking at my earring (: the way he cheeps like a siren the minute he spies me and chase me around demanding food. little smartie who can hop onto perches on command and oh-so-brave about hopping to high places then getting cold feet when he realises its too high to jump back down. courageous warrior who attacks toilet paper that cant fight back...being so gung-ho running around in my room but becoming this shy lil chick when he's brought outside to the living room haha.
okay dinnertime.
haha i don't want to set up my new blog with that post so here's a happier one!
it's an email shuling sent me:
(starts here)
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support, To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desirefulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn hascome to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotionalfoundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all otherrelationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
(ends here)
damn sweet yea (: heh it's meant to be a chain mail that you send to your friends but i'm lazy so i'm posting it here for you guys. haha oh p.s. disclaimer: i like the blog layout but i cant control what pics appear in the boxes so don't tell me they're very not my type k! lol.
today was just plain horrible.
the only thing i can say is....this is all wrong. we're as opposite as day and night, we live for sunshine and an adrenaline high, you wallow in darkness and try as we might to tug you free it's like the tendrils are creeping out and dragging us under ourselves. i feel like i've opened a pandora's box and all i want to do is go on living in my bubble pretending i don't see you outside fighting for a lifeline in. somehow i feel like God placed us here for a reason, me because i've experienced it before and i know how you feel, her because she has the most faith to guide us all through. but sometimes i wonder if our supposed friendship is driven only by that sense of duty, that feeling of
i'm only doing this cos it seems morally right.every sense of my being shouts out that our friendship is warped and that i need to break free now. and then that little voice of conscience creeps in and says its wrong to cut it off too....i feel like i'm being suffocated, this is slow drowning at its most cruel.
onemoredayonemoredayonemoredayyy >.<
i can't concentrate ): thanks to horrendous exams i missed shopping with sally and church with calista argh i shoulda gone out w them, not like i studied alot at home...
yesterday i had this nightmare where raptor dived out the window, which might not seem very scary except he still cant fly yet! haha somehow he flapped back up to me though! :D maybe i should interprete this as my results having a miraculous revival (: but i think i've used up my miracles quota with maths so...hmm. the only sad thing with being in hwach is that hardly anybody comes fr Os so there's a lot less encouragement and smses compared to back in st nicks when even my juniors would text almost everyday to wish gd luck. hai i need to buck up jiayou everyone!
xinhui says:
whos megan fox i keep heraing her name on fb!!!
A to Zach. says:
WHAT! how can not know. she's many guys dream basically lol.
xinhui says:
i'm not a guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--------
Ben says:
oh yah...many guys after a sex op becomes more chio than a girl
Ben says:
girls arh...you all ought to buck up
Ben says:
haha
xinhui says:
you fancy your chances benneo?
A to Zach. says:
haha yea, luckily ben dont even need sex op
-------------
xinhui says:
should invite feng in he'll be on bens side
xinhui says:
cos i always do this to him too (:
xinhui says:
ultimate loser
Ben says:
OI
A to Zach. says:
HAHA what did u just call ben!
Ben says:
what ya mean on that
Ben says:
thanks man zach
Ben says:
didnt have to highlight it
A to Zach. says:
what did u say xinhui!? didnt hear properly
xinhui says:
oh actually i menat fengchi
Ben says:
yea thats right
xinhui says:
but yea youre right ben is an ultimate loser too
A to Zach. says:
HAHAHA
xinhui says:
actually wait no
Ben says:
Thanks alow
xinhui says:
cos ben is worse than feng
xinhui says:
so if feng is ultimate then ben should be like giga loser
A to Zach. says:
this is cruel, but i can't agree more.
Ben says:
loser aint talking
Ben says:
crying in a corner
xinhui says:
now he's gay too
-----------------
A to Zach. says:
what time do you guys end school? on wed.
Ben says:
ehh
Ben says:
too long since i last went to school
Ben says:
forgot...
---------------
Ben says:
reach home 4 plus
Ben says:
makan 5 plus
Ben says:
watch tv 6 plus
Ben says:
yea night safer
A to Zach. says:
haha man, totally out to disgrace pes D.
-------
xinhui says:
eh zach come over n see the pig!
xinhui says:
oh or we can go see lucky! yea man lets do both
A to Zach. says:
where where what pig? U MEAN U HAVE A PIG @ HOME?
xinhui says:
PIGEON
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA I'M LOVIN' IT
im honestly screwed but it's not the results i'm worried about. i know my own pace and i know how long things will take to get better. the thing that terrifies me is how i'm gonna explain it to my teachers.....i know i'll deserve it if they dont believe what i say.
anyway i've switched my blog but i'm not revealing the address yet cos it's still under construction...i can't seem to find a blogskin i like so maybe i'll just change the link and stick to this one. don't worry...i'll invite back almost everyone who's reading this one. just....almost.
