<3

i think i'm really going crazy with my studies, esp when people keep asking me about it or rubbing in the hc factor. i know my cg ppl mean well but cg and church are my sources of breaks and i really really really dont wanna talk about ANYTHING studies-related. esp after cg and church ends, i'm totally stoned (cos friday has the worst timetable in the whole week and i wake up at 4 to study on sundays so i can enjoy at expo) and people buzzing in my ear about studies will just make me feel very miserable. i havn't cried over my studies in a long long time and i dont wanna start now...today i told xinying that i only got into hc by mugging 24/7 and not cos i'm smart, yet with canoeing, there was no way to continue the mugging. yet i'm very very sure that God meant for everything to happen this way. cos if i hadnt joined canoe, i wouldnt have been so close to twin and she wouldnt have coached me so well in Christ. furthermore, i wouldnt have met cal and i wouldnt be in chc now. canoeing gave me a sense of confidence like never before, and i think there's stuff I've done for Him which wouldn't have been possible without the self-security. furthermore, i was asking God if this logic of mine holds water, and i think His healing of my canoe-injury-inflicted-hand is the perfect answer that this is His plan and He ain't gonna shortchange me. yep...i still need alot of prayer though.

anw on a happier note, i think all the opening prayers and ministering to others this week has helped alot cos today i could give the bs closing prayer quite smoothly (: i was telling jinyi i dont understand why i can speak prayers aloud for others for real long but when it's leaders asking me to do it, i get very scared and start stuttering. so yea, this week i practised damn hard and i think it worked! whoo~ and service was awesome too cos i got alot of answers for the questions that people struck me dumb with. i cant wait to share with everyone (:

posted by xin! @ 5:53 PM