argh now i wish i'd talked to some of my cg ppl abt it a lil more so i could at least message them for help or support if i really buckle. so tomorrow i'm only gonna be armed with mark's advice(its in my diary on the page labelled 'wisdom courtesy of mark (= HAHA), whatever i can rmb discussing with cal at her house ages ago (honestly i cant rmb much >.<) and with jeff in the car, my bible, the chopsticks shuling gave me (i cant keep breaking quinn's stationery or classroom door handles), all the verses i've marked down and whatever i may gleam from QT later...its quite funny remembering last monday when i spent loads of time hyping myself up in the morning, praying like crazy and listening to my Christian songs in an effort to prep myself. i went to school feeling very high with a really tangible presence of the Spirit around me only to realise there wasn't any need to do battle that day, heh. it's been a relaxing one-week long break so tmr, i gotta do my best!
ultimately i've realised that it isn't really any advise from cal/jeff/mark which makes me feel confident, but rather the knowledge that they'll be there if i need help, which gives me the warm fuzzy contented feeling and calms me down. its like shuling said, 'if you're nervous with God+friends+cg behind you then imagine how she'd feel with no one on her side.' ah Lord please heal my throat, i'll need all the help i can get tmr (= somehow, i don't feel scared at all.
posted by xin! @ 8:58 PM
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