<3

yesterday lisa said that when we feel disengaged, all the more we must reach out and engage with others. i think that's really true. how many times have we allowed ourselves to indulge in our own self-pity, told ourselves that nobody cares about us, or simply rot away in the corner cos we're too scared to take that elusive first step? too scared of pain, too scared of rejection, too scared of past failures. but doesn't the bible say that we are not to worry about tomorrow?

sometimes when we feel cast away, when we feel doubtful and worried, it's not that nobody loves us. it's that we havn't learnt to appreciate their love language and the way they show their love. many people don't even know what embodies love to themselves. does love always have to come with a bunch of roses or a verbal word? isn't love as simple as a feeling that makes you feel warm and happy, that makes you feel protected and cared for? can't love just simply come in the form of a pat on the shoulder, a whisper of encouragement, an sms to ask how you're doing? i mean, i feel very loved by the smallest of gestures my friends do. i feel loved when somebody walks in the rain with me, windbreakers on and collars turned up. i feel loved when friends pass me their jackets in a freezing environment and claim they aren't cold. i feel loved when my schmates come up behind me and whack my head and muss up my hair, and we'd have another long bicker over who's the culprit that did it, heh. but it's all in the name of fun...it's all in the name of love (:

and secondly...many people aren't satisfied with the love they have. they don't treasure it, and they keep searching for more. sometimes a homely lil girl might yearn very badly to be friends with the most popular girl in the school. she does everything she can to get the attention of the most popular girl. she gets ecstatic when the latter throws her a mere glance. she's so blinded that she allows the queen bee to order her around, and when she's getting manipulated by the latter, she doesnt care cos she thinks she now has the other girl's attention, her 'friendship'. but that isn't love. that's idolism. when you think of a certain friend so highly that you're willing to sacrifice anything to solidify that friendship, perhaps even throw away all those who truly love you. there's a very simple way to see if love is reciprocated. check your inbox. is there someone whom you keep texting and whose messages you treaure above the rest? but yet, are you taking the initiative to text him or her far more often then they themselves choose to take the initiative to start a text convo?

and lastly...what lisa said about 说者无意听者有心. many times we misinterprete other's thoughts and emotions, and we don't realise the importance of laying bare the stage with one another. it's like the poem about the Poison Tree."I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe; I told it not, my wrath did grow." if there's something you're unhappy about with your friend, tell your friend. don't say it to hurt or in a way that causes unneccessary pain, but say it in a way that edifies the person. and similarly, if you love your friend, tell your friend so. very often we feel shy or whatnot when people tell us they love us, and we shrug it off as a joke or say something sacarstic. but what we don't realise that this unthinking gesture on our part; this symbolic rejection of their love might hurt them so much that they're fearful to show it ever again. and then when they don't tell us they love us anymore, we fickle-minded humans turn around and complain about how we don't fel loved. it takes courage to tell our friends that we love them...but it also takes courage to accept and acknowledge that love.

posted by xin! @ 7:53 AM