i'm grateful for girlfriends whom i can hang out and share my life with (: no matter what...the bond between sisters will always be something really special and cherished (:
it's only tuesday, but this week hasn't been good. it feels like i'm falling back into old flaws and giving in to them instead of fighting to break through. Pastor Phil's message on sun was really impactful to me, and it was also the first time since sot ended that i've felt so moved during s3 worship. i guess alot of things were running through my head that day...remembering all the visions and dreams that i'd let go off. pondering again on why God asked me to do the things He did...and agreeing to stop running away; take a step of faith. but just like what Pastor said, every time we're closest to the breakthrough, that's when the devil will attack us the hardest. and this entire week ... it just feels like i'm being battered with emotions i never expected to feel; insecurities i thought i'd long dealt with. anger over details that shouldn't be bothering me; bitterness and fury over stuff from years ago. yet i know that if i don't learn to leave this emotional baggage behind...to let go and let God...i'll never be able to move on. Cal once said that many people wonder why they go through the same trials over and over again, and the reason's simple. it's cos if we don't pass the test, God's just gonna let us take multiple re-tests until we pass. haha...i dont wanna re-test! i wanna pass it this time round. once and for all.
Lord, not with my strength but Yours. Right now, it's so hard for me to understand Your hands in this...but i'm gonna trust Your heart. (:
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For My thoughts are not Your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts."
posted by xin! @ 6:39 PM
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